Time to move forward, as
each time I try you meet me my life goes careening
The last time it almost killed me
while I trained my eyes upon a Hokkaido sunrise
eyes, crackling with the fervor that only a sense of divinity
and proportion infuses within a tired soul
my soul
my barren field
covered in layered dust and plowless, furrowless
so long the ground lay tired and suffering insomnia
a tortured response to the promise of lush green plants
basketfuls of fruit
your people, coming to hear your voice
to hear your freedom
in my life….
Time to move forward, lest
each layer of picturesque frozen wasteland becomes insulating
The next one could cause me to never wake up again
while my heart, left desperately wanting for so long fails in its
dreams, awash in the purpose of transcendence of the soul
and curls up awaiting the end in seemingly endless
slumber
a painless hibernation
covered by the dichotomy of regret and blinding faith
now given to giving up like some sacrifice of remembrance
a personal ache throwing away the promise of resilience
handfuls of hope
your hope, being shared to those who can see the remnant
hear the truth
in your sacrifice…
I am sorry I gave up
I am sorry I didn’t believe when I couldn’t see
or hear that you would not forsake me
Forgive me the lack of faith
Forgive me the lack of selfless trust in your perfection
or memory of what you said to me
Time to move forward
Time to give up giving up so that you will be proved right
and justified when you judge me
from the shrove
3:27 pm
16 February 2010
