No, I’m not singing Janis.  Come to think of it, I’m not singing.  Never have been someone who sang appreciably well.   Ah, that’s not entirely true, but when you’re tone deaf…. well is just a semantic thing.  =b  Lately, I have been struggling with the concept of vocation versus calling.  I suppose I wrestle with that so much that I need some surrender to what His will is on the subject.  Right now I have a job that in so many ways feeds the concrete side of my life.  At the end of the day, I can see the results of my hard work.  Nothing esoteric, everything simplistic.  I can say, “Look.  I did (such and such).”  That’s how to measure yourself in my line of work.  It’s a comfort to know that.

But, each day I come to work, and the piece of my heart that longs for work of substance beyond what I can put my fingers on… strains to be involved.  The dream of having a job that has more eternal consequences other than whether or not a house stands 10 years from now is alive and kicking.

Now everyone I know can quote to me any number of things that say that it’s your own attitude that makes a job more than just a job.  How submitted to our Lord I am, or how I approach it, etc etc…  But I still wish I could be sitting in a setting where I get to impart that little bit of knowledge and wisdom that He has given me… to encourage and challenge others to get the most out of their lives for His purposes.  I used to believe that should be the job I do, instead of the calling I have.  And the real struggle is that I know that His calling feeds different parts of my soul than does my job…. that’s why there’s wrestling and the occasional fit.

Today, although I understand the difference, I feel the pull to find a way to make the dream into my vocation.  I have to resist trying to put God’s plans in a box that is my size… and let Him show me where my dreams infused with His purpose and timing will come to fruition.  Sometimes on an hourly basis.  Sigh.

Ah well, I have to go to work.  We’ll see what the day offers.