A few years ago, I had the unfortunate opportunity to bury a friend of mine from college.  I remember meeting at retreat weekend oh 16 or so years ago and having a certain closeness to him.  We were prayer partners during the weekend, and I kept a loose connection over the years.  Almost 11 years ago, he finally proposed to the woman that he so loved for longer than I could have kept it quiet.  She being the perfect match for him said yes with the tone of “it’s about time” in her voice.  I smile every time I think of them explaining to me how it all happened.

But, in 2002, he was killed in a car accident and the wonderful woman and the children he left behind were aching.  I found out, and drove across the state immediately to see how they were doing.  Devastated understandably.  The celebration of his life was a blur to me.  I remember hugging the children, and his wife.  But the thing I remember most was the giant eye of God that followed me there and followed me back around Lake Okeechobee.  I drove over there when I found out around 11:30 pm… and it took around 3 hours to get to their house.  The entire way, this gigantic moon was rising in front of me.  It was calming and actually reassuring.

Over my lifetime, I can remember maybe 5 or 6 times a moon like that has been around.  A moon that looked so close, it seemed that if I walked over the ridge in front of me… I could touch it.  A very surreal experience to be sure.  In the past, I always attributed it to God keeping His eye on my soul to make sure it wouldn’t move or wiggle out of His way.  You can think what you will, but if I could explain it with more poetry I would.  There aren’t the words inside anymore.

I spent a day or two with the family, and had to come home for work.  And when it couldn’t possibly be full, the moon was as big as the sky and full as could be… all the way home.  I knew in a few days it would mean that I would have to come back for Josh’s funeral.  But I felt that I could do it, despite the grief.  Despite the wear and tear on my tired body.

And the same thing happened when I went back.  To this day, I don’t understand what God was trying to show me, except that I had lots of questions with very few answers.  Except that it was beautiful to behold, and I feel that Josh was telling God to remind me that there isn’t a place in my heart that hurts or that joys without God seeing it and understanding it.

This past weekend I drove that same drive.  A little road trip to West Palm Beach to see a friend’s child be christened.  I stopped in to see Josh’s family… their children are so big!  And the world is a great place again for them.  The joy in their eyes when I came by helped me smile to think that Josh left his family with the understanding of how to live in the face of adversity…  and God showed them how to live with they were loved, and loved greatly.  Or, perhaps it was the other way around… who knows.  But, the christening was a joyous occasion.  In the same church that we said goodbye to my friend.  6 years later and the circle keeps spinning.

 

Peace.

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