In the wake of what I am
changing reality
an argument against maturity
I don’t
want
to have to choose
Forced by a hard night’s floor
one foot stepped
planted
placed by a hand that knows
the difference between each
defensive position
Now another reminder
comes
Frail life
more transparently short
than we admit to ourselves
and all
I hear screaming
is my selfish childlike voice
echoing
I’m not ready yet
I don’t want to learn
to
live without you

As if this
is truly anything
at
all
about what I want
It becomes a twisted mirror
propped up
by absence and possibilities
and
my
myopia
is the image sobbing
as I look on
Afraid
that I might be forced
to admit to myself
A man
stands
with self-reliance
Inside the twisted wreckage
yelps
a bleating cry
repeating
embarrassing phrases
about self-reliance
and feet
standing in
shifting soil
due to the lack of desire
to be more than
dependant
and
unable to make it
to
live without you
here

I’m not prepared
for a time
coming like a car
out of the blue
A collision of maturity,
ideals,
and still wanting
while needing you
like a child
relies upon
his father
to be able to stand

 

7:03 am
15 March 2012

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