Tag Archive: Birmingham

This is the season when people watch their children go to school in the fall.  At least in the United States.  After so many years of preparing that time in my life, I would guess that I am programmed to be expectant during the fall.  I have always enjoyed the vibrance that comes with that expectation, the promise of new times, new people, new challenges…  something borrowed, something new…  it’s like a great marriage of ideas and experience.

Everything from slowly going through the school supplies aisles to pick out just the right pens, just the right notebooks… to the inevitable new clothes that replaced the ones that I had just grown into in the spring… speaks of change.  Change to a temporary person is absolute and unwavering.  (funny that change can be unwavering)  It’s almost necessary.  A temporary person doesn’t know how to live one’s life if there is a pervading sameness all  the time.

I especially miss those times now.  I have something stirring inside of me crying out to buy new books and take a new class, even if it’s something I don’t particularly care for just for the experience of being in class.  At the college level, new years were always especially wonderful.  I had InterVarsity to allow me an actual vehicle to meet new people on purpose, get to know them, hang out, have fun… and challenge myself and others with God’s truth and God’s creation.

It turns out that this fall I won’t be moving to Birmingham.  I have so very much wanted that this fall could be a new chapter in my life.  It may in fact turn out to be, but it won’t be in Alabama.  Time keeps moving along mercilessly.  That place stirring inside me during this time of year is actually weeping a bit.  Nothing will allow me to escape this physical place, except perhaps me.  It angers me that I spent the better part of 9 months planning and preparing for this, boxed up almost everything that I own, and on its face, it was all for naught.  But the person that I am, having been temporary for so long, aches for another temporary jaunt into another place, another time.  I think that’s what bothers me so much this year, as opposed to other years.

I was supposed to be on my new campus this fall.  Well, not a campus per se, but I was supposed to be there, not here.  So, I’m not too enthused at the moment.  A friend of mine posted a great question in one of her blogs recently.  Melody wrote:

When was the last time you did something that scared you?

For me, it has been the last 9 months of my life trying to become a person worthy of investing in something long term.  I have been living in this area for over 12 years.  It’s time to move on to another place, and do something differently in my own life.  Apparently, I still have much to learn.

Magic City Silence

Maybe silence is a good thing.  I had dreams of a couple of streets I haven’t seen since I was a kid.  I got in touch with my old friend Hephaestus, well… Vulcan and the statue on the mountainside.  I saw a few friends, a few buildings, some children playing, and a couple of churches made of old brick, fused with new.

I took a week off of writing because I was finding less that seemed important to speak about.  Recently, I have made some concrete steps for what may come.  Until something else gets clarified, I am making plans to head to Birmingham, Alabama.  Right now, I feel that it’s a priority.  But, I’m so used to things being either re-routed or completely destroyed, it’s hard to be excited.  Birmingham is a place that has certain feelings attached to it.  I have a great deal of love for the way the city has overcome the negative memories of it, especially with regards to civil rights. 

Different towns have different issues.  Being an idealist, some issues affect me more than others.  Some issues go completely past my vision.  But, in my past I am sure that I have rushed to deeply involve myself in a situation that I don’t thoroughly understand.  Sometimes with horrible results.  Having a series of ego-crushing situations is actually a wonderful thing for me.  Honestly, I’m not sure how I could have learned restraint without them.  It amazes me how prideful people rarely have something worthy of which to be proud.  Well, at least in my case…

What does the future hold?  I don’t know.  It could be that my accessibility to a new city will allow me to serve in a practical way.  I so have a desire to serve.  In Birmingham, there is a sense of going back to the past with regards to several issues that are important to me… civil rights, racial equality, economic oppression, and community reclamation. 

That is why my words haven’t come as freely as before.  I have wanted to write and write and write.  It’s the only time that I feel healthy as a human being.  My prayer times seem fresher.  My soul seems, if not at rest, at they very least without ache.  I need to write some prose or poetry or social commentary… provided that I have something significant to say, it might be worth reading someday. 😉

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