Tag Archive: Journals

I’ve been up so much lately.  I don’t know why.  My days and nights are switching as if they were two sentries on duty, passing beside one another without having the option to sit and converse.  Day passes by night unacknowledged and stands guard to my exhaustion.  I’m not 20 or 30 anymore.  My soul must really want to punish me for the many months and years of mistreatment or missed opportunity.  Because in a dead sleep, I have been waking and feel the need to plumb a thought.  To scratch a philosophical itch in my mind, as it were.

Tonight is another such night.  Honestly, I don’t believe for a moment that my words, which I’ve set down for now, wouldn’t wait until later.  But there is a fear that I won’t be as sharp.  My observations won’t be as clear.  Again, I’m also not sure that my writing skills will do them justice, or even more importantly, if they really matter in the grander scheme of things.  But what I have awakened to write are not these words.  I have my references, and I have my scribbles.  Hopefully I will have something that resembles insight in the form of fashioned observation sometime soon.

But,  I really have missed having the ability to let words fly forth at the speed of thought.  To be so inundated with things that there isn’t time in the day to capture them all.  Currently, I write in my journal as I write on a word document for random thoughts that I started this year, as I add to this blog, and I record my voice at times when I don’t have the inclination or ability to write something out.  It’s maddening to think that I have probably written more in the last month, than I had in the previous 5 months combined.  And… there is a distinct possibility that I won’t keep it organised enough to find it all when it’s all said and done.

I guess that I am out of bed, because for years now, the inspiration of anything or the inclination to fashion something hasn’t been there.  Like a thirsty, dying man in the desert, I am receiving the chance to drink.  I’m not going to waste it, and I hope that I honour the gift and the giver in the process.  I pray that this isn’t like manna, in that it will sour and spoil tomorrow.  I suppose that is why I’m losing sleep now, on the off-chance that I will fall short if I don’t try to capture it now.

How neurotic that must seem…

I cannot believe…

While this could easily be the introduction to a much longer post, I came across something that I didn’t know until now…

I never connected my mother’s work as a missionary to Uganda here on my blog. 

Part of me feels so sad because of that.  Downright disgusted that I never did that here.  So I’m rectifying this.  I am adding a link down below, so that people may see what her life’s desire was.  So that they could see on her webpage what she gave her life for.

I’m sorry, Mom, that I never did that. 

I hope you folks that are interested might find her second-life’s work interesting and eye-opening.  When God said, “Go.”  She sold everything and went.  She had the faith of a child, or the faith of someone knowing that the pearl she was searching for was in another field.  Either way, please visit those pages and learn about what I never gave you an opportunity to see before.   Her journals are rich, and full of God’s perspective if you read…

Forgive me folks, it had never crossed my mind before today, as I am trying to prepare for her memorial service this Saturday.

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