Tag Archive: Storms

New level of underwhelmed

Sometimes, I think too much.  Really.  It allows my mind to spin out of control and obsess with many things.  Wonders, horrors, joys, and inanities.  For the most part, that ability seems to be something that keeps the wheels from moving me forward.  The wheels spin in place while I should be gearing up for the next step… the next hurdle or obstacle.

Really, I think too much.  Or perhaps more appropriately, I feel too much.  Today, I was encountering the dull quiet inside, and reveling in it.  Outside the winds howled and the clouds skated past.  The waters outside my window were racing.  My soul felt like it should sit inside the tempest and find the calm in its midst.  It also got overwhelmed and I sat in my papa-san chair and strained to hear the nothingness outside my window.  In my chair where I usually spent my quiet times and prayer times, I was in a bubble of absolute silence.  It’s so rare in my world, that I sat, and waited for it to permeate my soul.

           only nothing…

And, I wondered why I wasn’t more moved.  To a certain extent, I recognised that I was underwhelmed.  Now, thinking about that, I find that I’m not so happy about that.  I wonder if my heart is growing colder to the stimuli of God’s hand in His creation.  I also wonder if that means that I am holding too tightly to the hope of inspiration and … and …

I think too much.  It gets in the way of either being, or becoming.

Ever feel like the world is crushing you?  I just got some pics from a good friend who was there when Katrina hit.  What an amazing display of natural firepower.  Can you imagine how it felt to be standing underneath those clouds and sky?  Many times in the past, I have enjoyed walking in the rains and storms.  More often, when I have been in the midst of that situation, I have longed for the storm because there were storms raging in my personal life.  Somehow, either the storm outside cooled down the one in my life, or vice versa.  (perception is everything)  But when I see these pictures, I am reminded of the other thing that I search for whenever I walk in the rain.  Dreams.  I try to get in touch with that part of me that dreams.  Dreams seem to be overrated in many regards, but I have always held onto a few dreams in my life.  A dream of what my heart wants to be, what life could be, and I enjoy those things.  People think that dreaming  is a foolhardy thing at best.  But, dreams may not be destined to come true, but without the hope that is invested in dreams and invested in the Who that makes dreams come true, life is a very fragile and listless existence.  Whenever you come face to face with the majesty of our Creator through His creation, it’s hard not to just be enveloped in the experience.

Seems to me, like there is a lot to dream about here.  More than we can possibly completely imagine.  Hrm, it appears to be raining outside.  I am off to dream a bit.

Enjoy the day.  Peace.

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