Tag Archive: Thought


Still

I wish that I could say that I’m on an adventure.  Trekking into the unknown with only the pack upon my back.  But, I’m not.  I am however, trying to find my way through the wilds back to a place I could so easily get to in the past.  Before, there was a chair, a time of day, and an almost penitent pose that would take me there.  Out of practice, I like Peter in “Hook”, have forgotten how to get there. 

I remember a good friend, encumbered with the weight and noise around them, took the opportunity and left.  Travelled not too far away and holed up in a small hotel to get some perspective.  It made an impression on a tried and true extrovert like myself.  In my life, where things seemed to be filled with life an energy, there had to be people.  But, looking back, I recognise that when I came home, usually to a small little efficiency or single apt, there was no one there.  No long talks on the phone, most of the time no television, no games… just my guitar, my books, my CD’s and time.

Early mornings meant waking up before the sun, resetting my alarm and trying to fall on my face in silence.  Late after the day was done, there was always a chair that I could recline in and absorb the day.  My favourite places were always the ones where I could sit and reflect, or have things reflected to me.  There was a little ledge in the math department building that leaned against the windows, and one could sit on them gaze out across the campus, slightly elevated and feeling completely detached.  Inspiration and oftentimes a divine perspective would have the time to hit me in those moments.

Lately, I haven’t had the time.  It’s a part of growing up, having responsibilities, making others the priority in your life.  Over the last few months, a lot in my life has changed.  Times when I would be quiet, I am either looking for escape or sleep.  Usually sleep.  It has worn on me, and I know those around me who love me have suffered a bit because of it.  If it were only a matter of a proper schedule, that would be one thing, but it’s different.  I know that I am not cultivating stillness.  Whether it’s by demands of people, work, obligations, etc or my own hand, I pray that may learn how to get there again.  This weekend is one where I might get to dig out from the clutter that has been sitting around not being removed.

I have the hopes that I might be able to write someday soon about such an exquisite grace that I saw this past August and September and October.  Or perhaps the strange trek that I walked last year might unfold its wisdom to me.  I so hope that there is a piece of that… soon.  So, like a trip my friend took long ago, I am going not so far away, spending time finding time.  Praying.  Reflecting.  Writing.  Listening.  Growing.  See you sometime soon.

Selah

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As a writer, if I don’t find equal parts inspiration, effort, fear, and joy in the process, then I haven’t:

 

shared something real or universal for all,
declared something true and transforming,
bared my innermost soul, my scars and joys,
cared enough to be vulnerable or become
aware of life outside myself, something divine…

 

But, if I have.  If I truly have, then I have honoured the gift, the insight, the giver, and the process.  It’s that for which I strive.

If there can be one thing for which I hope… I pray that the daily could become divine, and the divine become daily… That my eyes might see, ears may hear, and hands may fashion something both pleasing to you and challenging to the world… That in due diligence, something from me may be used by You for Your glory and purposes to build, not destroy, Your people… And, when all of me ends, may there be left something of substance that never passes away… That this instrument fashions good and beautiful work.  May there be equal parts grace and truth in all I do.

Selah

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