Some of us put away our creative concepts. We get busy with the paths of our lives. Careers, families, joyous gifts, terrible tragedies, good path choices, bad path choices, and distractions all swirl around us like a vortex that draws attention and time away from us. For me, I walked away from it because of a damaged self-concept where I trusted nothing that came from within me or came from my perspective. When I don’t write, I usually am farther and farther from God. It’s because that when I get quiet enough to write, I usually can hear God’s voice reminding me of the things that are barriers between He and I. That becomes painful, and I cannot tap into the creativity without being condemned by my own heart. Sin is a horrible barrier to that divine source of creativity, and I’m a fallen man in need of intense grace.
It’s part discipline. Creative types are notoriously either extremely obsessed with their craft or they sit waiting for inspiration. For most who have enjoyed the touch of that moment, it’s easy to understand why many people who are creative turn to mood-altering substances to give us the ability to be there again, and again. Either way, it is a revisiting of that mental place or that spiritual space over and over to have the opportunity to experience it again. But, it’s that repetition of coming back to that place that allows us to be in touch with that creativity.
It’s also part motivation. Sometimes the task at hand isn’t exactly like finishing a term paper so we can finish a class or get a good grade. When we’re exposed to creativity, there isn’t a finality to it, only a temporary accomplishment followed by a searching for what’s next. Sometimes it’s difficult to wake up inside and press forward to finish what has started. The concept of inertia and overcoming it to me sometimes applies here. It’s like having to overcome ourselves. A wall that I must climb daily, just like Michael McDermott sang about.
It’s a partly a sense of desire. It’s different from motivation in that wanting comes from a place of deep-seated need within ourselves. A longing that cannot be fulfilled in any other way. Like devotion to a cause, or a passionate love that only works with the object of that love to be in our presence. It’s consuming and sustaining and enlightening and bewildering, all in one.
It’s lastly part identity. When we are confronted with this gift, sometimes it becomes such a part of ourselves that it is inseparable from who we are. Whether we incorporate it into our career or relationships or purpose in life, it establishes itself inside the concept of our self. It is here where we come face to face with the utterly surreal understanding that we were in fact created to have a purpose. And that, that is where we wrestle with being who we are to be. In sync with God’s design. A lesson we spend our lives chasing and letting Christ transform us into.
To be reassembled in such a way, means to not just become diligent with our craft. It takes much more than the will to become better or more experienced. Mere effort doesn’t make it happen. We cannot create an environment of perspective and expect it to bear out in our lives. Yes, we need that discipline, motivation, desire, and identity… but we need to be retapped. Tapped again into the relationship with the master Creator. To be intrinsically involved with the originator of imagination and inspiration…
“When I don’t write, I usually am farther and farther from God. It’s because that when I get quiet enough to write, I usually can hear God’s voice reminding me of the things that are barriers between He and I. That becomes painful, and I cannot tap into the creativity without being condemned by my own heart. Sin is a horrible barrier to that divine source of creativity, and I’m a fallen man in need of intense grace.”
Something I’m learning and forever will be learning is ultimately, God wants us seeking Him. Just Him. Not logging in 23.5 hours a day in His word, not preaching the gospel to 23 cities in one year, not attending church 3 times a week. These actions aren’t bad – but they also aren’t GOD. He longs for us to long for Him. Seek Him, and ask for forgiveness.
Then it’s gone.
And you are no further fallen than I am, than Mother Teresa was, than Billy Graham is….etc.. God’s heart is forgiveness and reconciliation my friend…with each child of His.
And you are just that. A beloved child of His. Seek Him, and everything else will fall into place.
So glad you’re sharing this.
Too true. Being the redeemed man of God, a chosen priest, a Holy person is both a choice to acknowledge and receive an immeasurable gift.
The concept of not writing to me is a symptom of the larger issue. Forgiveness washes me clean. But, when I’ve been disobedient, whether willfully or not, to try to sit down and write feels like the concept of communion should feel like to all who take the bread and drink the wine… I cannot receive forgiveness if I still am holding against my brother or sister.
It’s the same about the issue of tapping into the gift of being creative to me. I cannot seem to write until I am internally forgiven, else I write from myself and not from His guiding. Anytime I write from my own “skills” or leanings, the writing never seems refreshing or like a blessing. It’s hollow and like the tap dancers know all too well, going through the motions seems to take away instead of add to.
It’s just anathema to have a wonderful gift, and sometimes in my past, not be able to touch it. So, sometimes I have forced the issue, as it were, and just wrote. It ends up being things that I’m not proud of and degrades the experience enough that I cannot bear to do it again. I love it that God put the desire for a Holy source for the outlet of His giftings.
Thanks for the stop-by again. It does my heart good that I’m writing something that makes sense to someone else. Oh, and congratulations on being featured again. I’m going to include the link here in case someone doesn’t know what I’m talking about…